Mom Opinions, Please!

I love rain. I love seeing it from the window, all grayish green against the woods and puddling up in the driveway. It means that I don't have to go out for a walk, but I might anyway, just for the fun of it.

No lotion in my hair today. I woke up early, full of thoughts about English Class. Well, I call it English Class. What I mean is "Helping Mattie and Catherine and Jane with writing." It will be as classy as possible. Most likely, I'll be learning more than they will :)

This morning I was wondering how to encourage kids to journal. I love to journal, and when I do it, I do it honestly, privately, and sometimes very intensely. This hasn't always been the case, of course. When I embarked on my journaling journey, I was somewhere between 9 and 11, and I wrote meager, boring beyond belief entries like

"I ate peanut butter toast for breakfast. I finished my chores before Connor did and I am very happy about it. I hope I can get a cat soon. I don't know what else to say. Bye."

What's more, being the faithful journaler that I was (I think I was made to do it three times a week for school) I wrote basically the same thing in every entry. The days were monotonous drippings in my journal, about as obnoxious as a drippy faucet. But somewhere along the way, the drips became a sporadic trickle. I began to write general statements about my feelings.

"I feel really lonely today. I don't know why. I took a walk in the woods. Wish I could write a story."

Eventually, the time came when I didn't just want to record everyday events, because new emotions were popping up all over the place. I couldn't explain them to anyone, but I NEEDED to write them down. I wanted to try, but I was mortally afraid of someone reading my journal, so I didn't. Also, I thought my mom had forbidden me to write secret things in my journal. I don't know if she had or not, actually, and she can't really remember. At some point, the pent up emotions got vented in my journal anyway. When I realized that no one ever came near my journals and my secrets were safe, I really started pouring out my heart. Before this revelation, I wrote in a fake, attempt-at-sophistication kind of voice. It wasn't me, it was a fictional person I was trying to be, trying to write about real feelings under cover. I was ashamed to admit that I was human, wished I were beautiful, was suddenly feeling kind of melty about boys, and was apparently morphing into some kind of totally awkward freak.

Steady streams spilled out. It took me a few years to actually quit disguising myself in my journal, even when I was pretty sure no one else was going to read it! But I wrote and wrote, and now I go to my haven frequently to gush.

Nowadays pretty much anything that goes down on paper comes out of my mouth to Mom one way or another, for the sake of our relationship, my sanity, and an innate need for confession and advice. She knows every major issue of my journals, past and present. Journal regurgitation didn't come about till I was at least 15, though, and it was a process. Poor Mom.

Anyway...this is my experience, and after talking with Mom about it, I believe it was a good thing. When I encourage kids to journal, I want to tell them to have a place where they can write privately and safely so that they can learn to write (and speak) honestly about what's going on inside them. If they are always in fear of what others (even Mom and Dad) will think, they might never write clearly. I also want to encourage them to share their struggles and secrets with their parents, no matter how hard it is, because we NEED our parents' help. I just don't think it should be forced. I know from experience that God can put on all the pressure necessary to bring out the secrets, whether we kids want to share or not :)

I don't know...I'm just putting my thoughts out there. If any moms are reading this, could you tell me what you think? Obviously I've never been on the Mom side, so I don't know how it feels to give your kids that freedom or if it's even a big deal to you. Maybe some people never even think of it. Please let me know your opinions!