Mandate Musings

I spent this past weekend at the World Mandate missions conference in Waco, and there's so much to write about it that I'm not sure I dare to say anything! Oh well, I have to.

I've developed a special fondness for this conference over the past three years I've been. I feel like I belong there, and even though it's a large crowd, I don't have a problem feeling quite at home because I get the feeling that we're 3000 people who all love Jesus a lot and want nothing more in our heart of hearts than to see Him glorified! And it's fun walking around asking people, "so where do you want to go?" and hearing them say "oh, Djibouti," or "I'm heading to Uzbekistan next month" and things like that. There, it's not weird at all to be heading to Ukraine a year after highschool with no college under my belt. I feel really accepted and encouraged. So, honestly, it's downright fun, and I could have just stayed all week, though I might have passed out from exhaustion. The worship times went on and on...no fussy cut off times at 10. On Saturday night we weren't done till 11:30, and it was wonderful! It's so great to be able to sing REALLY LOUD and just pray out all the prayers that are in my heart, committing the future to God again, and seeking Him, and also lifting up prayers for other people and nations that I wouldn't normally have been thinking about. Then we got encouraged with testimonies from missionaries from Jordan, Indonesia, and Sri Lanka, among other places. Yay!!

Over all, though, the "conference" was about Jesus. This year was the 20th year of World Mandate, and they finally had too many people to fit in the Waco Convention Center any more, so they moved it to the Ferrell Center at Baylor. Consequently, everything was a little different and I was somewhat nervous about the change. When we got seated and noticed the fancy schedule booklets and nifty lights and they started a video celebration the 20 year anniversary, I started silently pleading, "No, please don't let it be a program, just a conference, a show...please let it be genuine, please..." That's what I've loved about past years at the conference- the genuine humility and focus on Christ. I was afraid that some of that might be lost in the transition to a new and "better" place. But then, the lights dimmed, and instead of the usual worship band breaking into loud and glorious worship songs (which are great, by the way,) only the worship leader came out with his guitar and started singing quietly and strumming. Up on the screen was the name "Jesus," and from then on, we spent the evening singing straight to the Lord. Just focusing right on Him. And then, instead of preaching a "missions" message, the pastor preached a message on Jesus :) It was a great start to the weekend, and there was so much peace and unity there. I loved hearing about the work in Muslim countries, and testimonies and all that, but even those things could worry me or confuse me. Focusing on Christ and His worthiness, however, could be nothing but good.

The last session was on Sunday morning, and a pastor spoke about the Church as Christ's body, and how we are not made to go it alone, but to be members of each other. I was pretty convicted about my own attitude at home- how I isolate myself because of shyness, uncertainty, disallusionment, and a critical spirit. He said that "any move that promotes itself at the expense of Christ's bride is not of God." He said that, even if you don't agree with everything in the church, it's not right to sit on the sidelines, that Christ is not reaching the lost through individuals who move out independently, but with members of His body working together and loving each other, and confessing their sins to each other.

It's all a little too much for me to put into words for the public right now, but it's burning in my heart. I'm starting to read the Bible through the eyes of the Bride, His people, rather than just me on my lonesome. The passion He has for His bride is overwhelming to think about when I consider that He's redeemed Israel over and over, and now is so patient with the church and all our brokenness and coldness towards Him.

I hope something out of this made sense. Thoughts seem to tumble out all over the place, and I don't mean to be ultra-spirtual sounding at all! It's just all there milling around in my heart and mind. It isn't just a foofy up-in-the-clouds thing, either. It's starting to change the way I act. It changes the way I see people. It's already making me do things I didn't have the courage or desire to do. It's making me give in a way I didn't think I ever would. It's making me love people in a way I never thought I could love. As God shows me more of His heart, His Holy Spirit starts changing mine. I think one of these days I'm really gonna break out of this box for good!