Adventures in Barbary, oops, I mean Barbering

I just got done cutting Connor's hair with the clippers. Boy, was he jumpy! Good grief. It's true that I've only done it once before and therefore don't have much experience in the fascinating art of barbering, but like any other skill, it takes practice. Unfortunately for the victims, it takes cutting real heads of hair to really practice ;) Brothers are the perfect subjects. Dad...well, I only tried him once.

The fact that I couldn't remember which settings to use right away probably made Connor feel uncomfortable. I don't know if that had anything to do with the way he nervously gripped Mom's hand-held mirror, his eyes hovering suspiciously over my every move like a mama cat. "Relax." I told him, thinking of the times he's driven me around in the car since he got his license. Then I had to quote Dori. "Trust me on this!"

Well, I can't blame him for being nervous. I hadn't done it in a while. Mom wasn't home. I needed instructions. So he gave them, and I followed them, mostly without incident. I shuffled around in a mound of icky hair clippings to the tune of the obnoxious buzzing clippers, bzzing this way and that. He has (had) a lot of hair.

One thing I figured out very quickly was that you have to use the right language. When in doubt about how you're cutting someone's hair, you shouldn't express it verbally, especially if the victim is already nervous. You should eradicate all traces of "oops" "whoops" and "uh-oh" from your vocabulary. And I'd go so far as to banish the hesitant "hmm" as well. Either muse in silence or give a cheerful running commentary (if truthfully possible) like "I'll just get that little tuft with the other setting." "Just over that ear and we'll be finished." "I'm just evening that side out a bit." Emphasize small amounts. Smile confidently. Stay calm. And if at all possible, persuade the subject to stop stalking your every movement with the mirror.

When it was all over, we both agreed that it looked good. He's a rather handsome dude. And I was proud that I could actually cut his hair, though I hope he doesn't gray prematurely over it :) After all, it's like my Dad says: "The difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut is just two weeks." There's not that much to be lost. Of course, it's not my head...