Culture Shock, Round 2

I'm posting! I'm posting!

I'm sitting in the loft at the Gollan's before church starts (evening) and using Bruce's computer. I haven't tried mine yet.

We're now in Rzhishchiv for good...no more apartment. I'm very happy and very sad about that at the same time. We moved out here on Friday to the house, which has very little dishes or furniture and a lot unfinished, but it does have great working appliances and space, and room for the kids to play and...did I mention running water? It has running water. Very cold running water. There is no hot water, but the way I'm looking at that is, what if all we had was HOT? That would be miserable!

The past few days have been pretty tough, because moving to Rz has started culture shock over again for me, complete with jetlag feelings because got very little sleep for a couple of nights. So I've really felt like crawling under something and crying a lot, but at the same time I still want to be helpful around here. I feel very much like I've been ejected out of a safe, secure womb and now am kicking and squalling "Put me back!" I have no history here and no basis. I've been born all over again into a scary world where I no longer know how to even talk properly. I was even asked what my accent was...that it didn't sound American! (The people I've met here are from Ukraine, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada, so you can imagine how that messes with your mind.)

On Friday night I came down to the Gollan's house, where they were having a hang out night and talking, playing games, checking internet, and looking at pictures of a vacation some of them recently took to the Black Sea. So I got to meet people! I was excited, but also so overwhelmed. They were so nice to me, but I struggled with the realization that it's going to take so much time to build relationships. I'm the youngest here, besides the kids, so once again I have the of being a baby...how do I always get in these situations where I feel so immature? But. These are just feelings, and I keep having to get back up on my feet and stand on God's word, the Truth... Jesus.

There are quite a few Ukrainian girls probably in their 20's in the church here, and very few guys. And then there are the Aussie folks, New Zealand folks, and I met Cheryl, who is Canadian. We talked some, and played Boggle :) That night I went home and cried and sweated on my mattress, looking out the window at the stars. God, do You see me fitting in here? I really like the people, I just feel like such a loner. I want to plug in, but a year doesn't even seem long enough for that. But I suddenly remembered that He sees the situation with different eyes, all knowing eyes. He saw the situation ahead of time and said, "I'm going to put Cassie over there." He must have been pretty confident about, because He sent me all the way across the world to get me there! And if there's nothing else I feel certian of, at least I know He's put me here.

I keep thinking of Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask and think, according to His power that is at work within us..."

So I made a list of all I'm hoping for...

To build relationships here and really fellowship
To learn Ukrainian and connect with Ukrainian people
Love and serve the Crowes
Share the gospel of Jesus Christ...

So yeah. Good things? Jesus. The beautiful countryside (complete with forests, corn patches, wildflowers, dandilion puffs, white brick houses and barns, rolling pastures, and even three fat goats a couple houses down) The Crowes. They've been so patient and it's so nice to be with them. There is no other family I coudl live with like this. I feel really comfortable with them. The market. Deb and I went this morning and bought beautiful vegetables for stew, as well as fresh milk and honey.

The guitar is tuning up downstairs, so I think I'll go join now and worship the Lord. I just keep giving my heart to Him over and over.

I'll try to blog more. My brain has just been the consistency of babyfood the past few days, and I hope to thicken it up soon. You just can't imagine the adjustment this is until you come :) But God is so, so big and good. I love His ways. There's no figuring Him out. He can (and will) do way more than I think!

I love you all...

P.S. I have an Australian flag tatooed on my ankle. (Temporarily of course) My 8 year old friend Angel (she is definitely an angel to me) gave it to me, obviously expecting me to wear it, and, well, what could I say? I'm not going anywhere fancy any time soon! So she obligingly put it on for me. I like it. Now I match hers! She also scooched up in a camping chair with me at the house and asked me to read Amelia Bedelia to her. Who could resist?