Let it be to Me as You Have Said

Well, Christmas has come and gone. I woke this morning to a white sky full of rain and was happy. The traffic will subside and the parties will cease. I enjoyed giving and recieving gifts, but I'll admit, I'm glad that the stress of it is over. In a way, it seems that it all went so fast, and there wasn't enough time for candle light in the sanctuary and pondering "Oh Holy Night."

"Long lay the world, in sin and error pining
'Til He appeared, and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope..."

I know there's no reason why we can't adore Him all year long, but there's just something sacred about this time of year. The stars are clearer, the lights are warmer...

Yesterday was a pleaasant Christmas day (which began at 7 am with a great clatter down the stairs), At one, we went up to Grammie and Paw Paw's for other festivities, including a long lunch, a long visit, a long dessert, a longer visit, and several roudns of coffee. Even though my cousins live next door, I rarely spend time with them, and hadn't realized how I'd missed them! So it was a nice visit.

Around suppertime we came home and watched The Nativity Story. I hadn't seen it before. The movie was really thought provoking, and really brought the characters of Joseph and Mary to life. It makes you look at things from a new angle, of how it possibly could have been.

It both scares and amazes me that God requires so much out of His children. He chose Mary for a task that demanded her reputation, her body, her hope for the future, her willingness to be put to shame and pain, everything...and with one quiet assent she abandoned herself completely and recklessly to God. Without knowing what she was in for. Crazy. Am I brave enough for that? At the rate I'm going, I think I'll be willing to be killed for Christ's sake before I can come to terms with enduring embarressment for Him. It's those little things...the speaking out, making a phone call, walking across a room.

Well, I know somewhere inside that He's called me to a life of "hardship and blessing" as Pastor Bud so aptly put it when he prayed for me a few weeks ago. It could turn nastier than meeting new people at church. I don't know what it looks like exactly (at all). I guess God is God enough that He can demand everything from us, yet Man enough to bear every weakness and danger with us. I love the Person-ness of who He is. When I think of the possiblities of pain in my life, I want to shrink back in fear, but his love is so irrisistible and tantalizing that I'm powerless to escape. He's so cunning to create this wall around me, to hem me in so that in the end I'm flung back in desperation...on Him. It's almost like He's tricked me, and yet, I have to admit, I'm glad. Very Glad.

In the end, what can I say? He is God. I am His creation. So, it's like David said, in Psalm 116...

"Precious in the sight of the Lord
Is the death of His godly ones

Oh Lord, truly I am your servant
I am your servant, the son of your maidservant
You have freed me from my chains."


Let it be to me as you have said.