Life and Faith and Weird Cheese, etc.

Hmm. What does my life look like heavenside, I wonder? I feel a bit at a dead end right now, a kind of boredom that I don't know the reason for and can't put a finger on.

This morning it got a little colder than our 40's spell, and was snowing something akin to cold laundry detergent. But the sun also came out-- always a nice sight. I felt hopeful when Masha pointed out the buds on the trees a few days ago. She said they'll probably die in the cold before it's really spring. But that, coupled with the sight of booths of veggie and flower seeds at the market, fuels my hope. Winter isn't so bad.

Deb just gave me some sort of nasty looking, fairly yummy tasting mush that she made of blended vegetables. She's on a cleanse of some sort, so there are lots of fruits and veggies floating around. I think it's a good influence on me. I ate salad for breakfast, with some kind of weird cheese I bought at the store yesterday. It's softer and milder than feta cheese, dryer and less creamy than cream cheese, and has a taste similar to cottage cheese. It comes in a rectangular package like the butter. Masha said it's cream cheese, but it's not like the cream cheese I know. I put it in the salad and I'm still trying to figure out whether I liked it or not. You never know what you'll find next around here.

I hate the fact that I feel bored, because on one hand, God's been really opening up His word to me, and the stuff I'm getting from that is anything but boring. I guess it's the gap between these truths and the way I live that is difficult to face and understand. Earth and all it contains is going to pass away, and what am I sitting here doing? Blogging and eating salad and wierd cheese for breakfast? It makes you crazy if you think about it too much.

I feel powerless to live beyond myself, so I have to look to God in faith. I keep reading Jesus' mentions for faith in the gospels, and over and over He says "Don't be afraid." "Take heart." Faith is what pleases Him, and my first act of faith is believing that He will give me grace to obey Him and become like Him, concerned with His kingdom. Without fear.

It's getting dark. I think I'll go by the post office to leave a letter in the box for my dear sis. I think I'm subconsciously dreading going home because I know I'll inevitably feel obligated to clean things. There is always something to clean :) We had no water for several days last week, so the dishes piled up and nothing got cleaned, and hallelujah that we have our water back, but now my excuse is gone. The dishes got done, but there is always something lurking.