Get Off the Drug

I have concluded that chic flicks should be outlawed. They are detrimental to the mental and emotional health of females, (as well as physcial, as they provoke irrational consumption of chocolate.)

A chic flick is a narcotic that gives a high for approximately 1-2 hours and then drops the user with a sickening thud into reality where real guys don't kiss girls the first time they meet them and romance take months and years, not minutes and hours, to develop. Those most susceptible to this drug are females between the tender ages of 12-24. Its effects include abundant sighing, an apathetic attitude towards life, antagonism and resentment towards well-meaning males, bouts of moaning and weeping, and a curious attraction to chocolate.

I've decided to get off this drug. I will stick to fairytales. In fairytales, damsels cheerfully clean houses for incorrigble dwarves. They wait, shut up in high towers for undetermined amounts of time. They sometimes fall into a coma for years on end. There is a lot of encouragement in that. There must, after all, be some hope for the rest of us.

Also, fairytale princes are chivalrous, and they never expect vulnerable maidens to compromise their honor. Nay, good folk, they are sworn to protect a lady's honor at all costs. Not so in Hollywood.

I will go home and find my Jane Austen and The Princess and the Pea. Not to mention the Bible, that great True tale of chivalry, justice, and undying passion from which all beautiful fiction is derived.