To Live Again...

Sorry if you were hoping for more entries lately. I haven't blogged because my brain has gone into "survival mode" this past week... hunkering down in a bomb shelter-type hole in the corner of my head. Wait...my head doesn't have corners...or didn't...

After being sick, my neck and jaw were really having problems, and I've just been exhausted. Nobody's been "quite right" with the weird stomach bug that's been going around. I wanted to be a fun, energetic auntie for the kiddos this weekend when the Gollan kids came to stay with us, but I didn't have much to offer. In fact, blast it all if I wasn't almost ogre-like. I told Deb I would really, really like to have energy again to stay up till, say, 10 o'clock. Or later. And then still be able to get up in the morning. She told me to have another cup of coffee.

I'm so thankful for Deb. This weekend I was thinking about my friends and missing them...and then I realized in the kitchen as we were cooking together that I really love being friends with Deb. It's good to have someone to laugh with. She said it was a good thing we like to be together. I guess it wouldn't be much fun around here otherwise :) I'm realizing that it takes living with people day in and day out under pressure to build the kind of relationship where you can take risks...It's so good to have my intitial fears met with the thought that no matter what I do, they are going to still love me for who I am :) Living rawly in front of each other is somewhat scary at first, but it's so rewarding.

One thing that helps me keep life in perspective when I wonder what in the world is wrong with me and why can't I cope a little better is that, well, when people have kids, they usually only have one at a time, thereby allowing for an adjustment period before the next. Not six at once. Or ten at once. So I don't have to be so freaked out.

Note: When under pressure, there is a scrap of comfort in having a freshly sharpened pencil around. A little coffee never hurt, either.

So today, after getting a shower and taking a walk in the crispy fall air, taking in a little of Rzhishchiv, I felt some will to live returning. Ahh. My jaw was much better today. I hadn't realized how much that was contributing to the constant drained feeling.

So...right now the kiddos are off to bed and Deb and I are catching up on internet while Bruce plays the piano...it's so nice to hear music just flowing and flowing and flowing...My soul finds rest in God alone, my hope is in Him...His mercies are new every morning, great is His faithfulness...