Happy Birthday Mom!

What a nice day. Today I've just been sort of taking a break, which included a little retreat to the woods and a walk to the post office to mail a few letters to my family. And I've been trying set up my Skype account so that I can call my mom, because it's her birthday.

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

I've been just pondering things...thinking about Rzhishchiv and wondering how to be a light. Of course, I know I am already a light because God has brought me into His kingdom, I just wonder what it looks like to love people here in Ukraine, and how I will meet Ukrainians who don't know Jesus yet. Although I haven't talked with people yet, I sense that people's hearts are hard here, and that they are "asleep" in a sense.

A few nights ago I mentioned that I was sleepy and that I was feeling tired all the time. Someone said, "Well, you're made for Ukraine, then! Tiredness is a national Ukrainian trait." The culture does seem laid back to the point of lethargy. Maybe it's these hot summer days, but I don't think so. In some respects, I really like the flexibility and calm, but spiritually...

I was reading the scripture from Ephesians 5 that says "Awake, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." There is so much drunkenness here, and, I don't know..."hardened apathy" comes to mind. I'm not sure.

In my own life, I don't want to grow spiritually comatose. I realized that I die to myself and learn to let go of my will, but I can't forget that the Holy Spirit "will also give life to your mortal bodies" (Romans 8) I need that life. The life of Jesus being my passion, my suffering, my rejoicing, my labor, my love, my prayer, my light, my strength. I get so tired that I feel like just surviving, for just skimming by with being nice.

What is real love? 1 Peter says to love one another deeply, from the heart. And Ephesian 5 says to "Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." I'm suddenly seeing that showing love is so much more than being polite and understanding and nice and patient. It's not only passive, but aggressive. But what does that look like every day? It's so dangerous to just jump out and do something in our own strength, but how do I know how to love? How do I know how to serve individuals in different situations? I guess I have to hear God's voice.

He's had so much favor on me, using the difficulties and disappointments or inconveniences (like with the internet) to constantly bind me to Him. I can't run off and be dependent on things that work or easy circumstances.

Well, I need to go. Blessings.