Getting Rid of Bob

The time...the moment...the ahhhhhhhh!!!! I get to post on my blog!!!!

I know its silly, and anticlimactic. I'm very disturbed by my drive to blog. Especially since I'm not even blogging anything...humbug. I've been nagged incessantly by something or somebody (kind of like the little fella one the guy's shoulder in the old Golden Corral commercial- we'll just call him Bob.) Well Bob has really been bothering me. He's constantly telling me to blog, making me want desperately to blog, but in the same breath he's telling me to go do the laundry, go grade papers, go help out, go hither, go yon, but for heaven's sake, please somehow blog simultaneously. Now, my mom has said that I can multitask, that I take after Dad...but no, I'm sure she wouldn't think it a good idea for me to blog while frying eggs or anything else!

Time management. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. I thought it would get better after school was done, but alas, my troubles are only magnified. I find myself trying to play the martyr all the time...trying to do the "right" thing and serve other people and whatnot...and all the time Bob just keeps pinching and pinching my insides to pieces and every night I crawl into bed unblogged and un-a-hundred-million-other-things and quite discontent. Today Mom told me to do what I wanted this afternoon so that I would be ready to do stuff together tomorrow afternoon. Although you might hope I would be grateful to my loving mother who was concerned about my pleasure, I just had to fight with Bob all day. He is such a loser! I have never called anyone a loser before, but considering the kind of person Bob is, and that nobody knows him like I do (being a figment of my paranoid imagination) I feel the freedom to call him whatever I like. I definitely pick "Loser."

Yes...and I really don't fight with other people...just Bob. He wanted me to check a million things on the internet, blog, write a lot of letters, blog, do laundry, blog, make several phone calls, blog, and possibly even mow the lawn. Oh, and blog. Basically, Bob is mean. It's just blablablablabla all day long. Do this do that do this. Your not a loving person if you don't do this for so and so. Bob is also a great Bible scholar. Boy does he know how to use scripture to manipulate me! All I really want to do is blog a nice twenty minutes about four times a week. It would be nice to think that maybe since I've blogged today, Bob will leave me alone. Knowing him as I do, I'm not going to count on it. However, there is a possiblity that things coudl get better...

See, Bob is such a horrible pest...I know the Golden Corral image (three inch tall dude perched on shoulder in red suit w/ pointy tail and accessories) sounds kinda cute, and I probably sound like an ogre for calling someone I'm so personally aquainted with a loser, right? But Bob is really getting in the way of the Holy Spirit in my life. Sometimes I get the two mixed up. I said I fight with him (Bob) and all his confusing tidbits of advice. But I don't fight very well, because, you know, I'm just me, and Bob is rather, eh, elusive. Last night something sparked Ephesians 6 to my attention and I read about the armor of God.

"...With the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Put on the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God..."

This is just what the Ephesians prescribes for fighting off "people" like Bob. I'm tired of helplessly bowing down every morning to the various shrines lined up along the wall of my heart. There's the nice little shrine called "journalling," the one called "blogging," the shrine of "make no mistakes," the shrine to "control my time," even the shrine to Bob, the disgusting little creature. I will bow down to the one True and Holy God who bought me with a price (time and everything!) and listen to His voice alone. Only He will be able to help me get rid of Bob.