Debriefing My Trip to Darfur

I think I'll do another post, because, being in blogger infancy, it's such a novel thing to do.

Last night I had a wierd dream. In it, I was going on a ski trip, which suddenly turned into a missions trip to Darfur. We were running for our lives. (Don't ask who "we" were, because I don't know.) Apparently "we" were being chased by Communists. (In Darfur? It's that history book of mine!) We escaped to my house, bringing people from Darfur with us. Unfortunately, we were still being tracked, so we had to have worship services secretly in order to stay under cover. In the dream, I was thinking "It's all well and good to be in danger across the world, but I want to be safe when I come home!" That's very true. I feel pretty daring sometimes about jaunting off to other countries to share the gospel, but when all is said and done I want to know there's somewhere safe to come "home" to. I guess it's a matter of learning to be at home with God.

Another thought I had this morning occurred during devotions at breakfast time when we were working on memorizing Romans 8. Lately I've found myself struggling to "get to God." I've been frustrated to tears over it, but during devotions I got a picture in my mind of what I was doing.

I can see myself at the front door, which stands wide open. On the other side of the doorway is a gift, wrapped up in a box. For me. Between me and the gift, however, is a gate in the doorway, kind of like one of those ones they put up so that little kids don't climb up the stairs. I'm trying so hard to get the present~ trying to climb over the gate, squeeze around it, or pick the lock. No matter how hard I try, I can't get to the gift. Then there's God on the other side. He's the one who is giving me the gift anyway (or trying to) and He wants to hand it to me, but no. I absolutely insist on getting through the gate on my own.

Yes, the gift is forgiveness, or maybe more simply, peace. The verse we memorized this morning was, "What the law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did." Only God could do it. Later I took a walk up our long driveway and talked to Him, and remembered John 10:9 "I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture." Maybe I should play by God's rules. That would be easier anyway. I miss Him!

Today, being Friday, was housecleaning day. With my waiting blog in mind, I set to work scrubbing down the bathroom with new focus! Whenever I scrub the bathtub, I always think of one of the Hank the Cowdog books where Slim's girlfriend, Viola, discovers some kind of huge mess on the ranch and says to some kid who's with her (maybe Loper's son or nephew? It's been a long time since I had the privelege of reading it) says "Well, this is going t' take some elbow grease!"

Anyway, Ethan really really really really really needs an entertainment committee right now, and it looks like I've just been nominated. (After Connor read him a page or two of his biology textbook, Ethan decided I was a better candidate.) We'll go make cookies :) Mmmm!