Triumph in the Hunt

Today I embarked on a journey to find and seize (lawfully) some of that stuff that has given humankind the most pleasure and botheration since the advent of the fig leaf: clothing.

I am like the guy in that one Sonic commercial-- my wallet creaks when I open it. I don't go shopping very often. It's not because I don't like nice clothes; I have plenty of good reasons for not shopping. I won't enumerate them now because many of you are familiar with them yourselves and it will only bore or depress you.

Well, today, I did go shopping, and today, I did buy clothes. After discovering four small rips in the back of my favorite and nearly only pair of jeans on Monday, I decided that was the limit. And today, because of unexpected events at our house which kept Dad from his usual grocery shopping, I got the groceries instead.

Before Walmart, however, I stopped at two other stores to hunt for jeans. Not only did I find jeans, I found shirts and a dress that all fit and I liked. I bought some of them. I had forgotten how to swipe my debit card. But I figured it out without too much trouble.

I could just keep my holey jeans. After I got a look at what was selling, I figured mine were pretty much in style. The difference is just where you put the holes, unfortunately. I don't care how stylish they are, when I get around to buying new jeans every eon or so, I'm not going to pay for holes. I can make them myself, thank you.

I went home to tell my family what I'd done. I had not warned them before hand, and I wondered if the shock might not be too great.

"Well good for you," Dad said, (Not the response of average Dads to average daughters.) "Do we need to put this on the record or something?" Mattie congratulated me warmly and said she I could tell she was proud of me.

And I-- well I'm downright proud of myself. It's not every day I go out on the hunt and return triumphant, clothed in the booty.