Thoughts About Learning

Well, I have been trying unsuccessfully to post on my blog for a week or so now. Something always gets in the way. Last time it was the computer itself. But that is beside the point.

Connor and I had our first day of classes yesterday. He is taking three dual credit courses this semester and I'm just taking two regular courses. Part of me would like to be doing a lot more, but this is how it works this semester, and in the end, I'm happy with it. I get to supervise Ethan's schoolwork and plan Mattie's English and Spanish work for the year, and I love doing that. It might not count as college credit, but I enjoy the experience.

So, the classes. I went into this with a biased view of Kilgore College. Most of what I'd heard about the school was negative. That, coupled with my propensity for expecting the worse, set me up for a very pleasant surprise. The buildings were good, the people were really helpful, and the teachers actually acted like they wanted to help us succeed. I was stunned. First impressions may lie, but basing your impressions off the impressions of other people isn't the way to go either.

Of course I'd love to be at a four year university right now, but that's not what I'm doing. So I figured I may as well swallow my pride and appreciate what I get. There are a lot of things I'm going to like about Kilgore. I love to learn, and I've always tried, (maybe not always striven,) for excellence. I'm not going to Kilgore so that I can shirk. But, it did occur to me yesterday that perhaps a bonus to attending Kilgore instead of a more challenging school would be that I can relax and enjoy learning instead of continually scrambling to make top grades with a really high standard. Enjoying what I learn is more important to me than earning the highest grades, and I think it's the key to retaining information anyway.

Our history teacher emphasized that she believes in redemption, and as I understand it, giving us room to fall and pick ourselves back up again. As a person who wants to try hard anyway, I appreciate that. I have spent way too much time kicking myself over mistakes, and it helps not to have someone else kicking you too.

I've been reading a book on probiotics (almost the opposite of antibiotics, but not quite!) that I got from the library. I love it. I love learning about my guts. I love learning about other peoples' guts. And all the little bugs. I lovingly refer to them as my "internal garden" and have had a great interest in promoting the health of my microflora lately, mostly with yogurt. I found a recipe on line for making it (very inexpensively) in the crock pot. It's delicious. It's almost scary how important the balance of bacteria in our gut is to the health of our whole bodies.

Anyway, all that is just to say that I've been learning far more about biology from that book than I ever did from my high school science curriculum, and with 100% more enthusiasm! I was never interested in biology in school, but now I'm almost looking forward to the college class. Massage therapy is next on the list.

Well, at this point, my only issue with college, besides the fact that it costs both arms and both legs, is that I need to pick only one or two majors...because suddenly, the whole world looks like a new and fascinating place, full of so many things to learn.

New Starts and Memory Blanks

This week I've been pouring my time into the details of getting into college. Yes, it's a bit late to be "starting" on this. That shouldn't actually be in quotation marks. I literally started on Monday looking up information on Kilgore's website. I wasn't prepared at all. I met with several large roadblocks. But after seven hours on the computer, phone, etc., and some sweat (jogging to loosen my tense shoulders) and blood (cut my leg on the metal filing cabinet while locating SAT scores), I was able to make great progress and somehow the worst of the roadblocks melted away.

After I finally quit for supper, I got a particularly encouraging bit of news concerning funds and promptly burst into tears. I'll never understand girls. Hold out under all kind of pressure all day, and when something good happens, we start bawling.

There's a long way to go, but I feel amazed at how God is making my paths straight. I am not Miss On Top Of It, and I'm not Miss Self Sufficient, either. I didn't "do my homework." And compared to "everybody else," I'm behind. I'm not even planning to take a full load this semester, but I keep on thinking of the Tortoise and the Hare! God has provided just right for the amount of work I feel comfortable with during this transitional time. Right now I'm Miss Standing In Awe.

I've been driving Dad's truck (I expected it to have died in my absence). But it's still chuggin'. Driving comes back to me with surprising ease, but directions...not so much. I sometimes draw a complete blank when trying to picture roads connecting. I keep getting lost on the way to places I used to know how to get to. It's a strange feeling. As if I'm trying to remember a map in a dream world, except this world is my real world. Oops.